How Is This Good Enough?
I recently spent some time with family members*, Gayla and Linda, we almost never see because they live in New England. They also happen to be a same-sex couple.
It was also really nice for me to get better acquainted with Gayla and Linda since they live so far away. They are able to visit in person so seldom that I don’t have any adult memories of them. I don’t ever remember meeting Linda (I was 6 the last time she even came to Utah, and may never have met her), and that made me sad, because she’s a warm and kind person, and she has felt too much rejection for being out from her family.
She has two children from a marriage when she was younger, and it sounds like her mother was able to accept her divorce, but once she fell in love with Gayla, she severed all ties with Linda for decades. It wasn’t until after Linda’s father died that her mother even spoke to her again. In the years since, Linda’s mother has gone from hating that her daughter is gay, to having some relationship but rejecting any contact with Gayla, to “not being happy” with the relationship, but liking Gayla as a person. And that’s good enough for the both of them.
How could this ever be enough? I can’t imagine thinking that it would never be enough to simply have their long companionship and love tolerated by Linda’s mother. It makes me frustrated and sad.
* To explain the relationship, Gayla is my father’s ex-step-sister.