This May Be the Weirdest & Worst Thing I’ve Heard at Work

This morning I was totally bereft of words after talking to a coworker, let’s call him Hank about another person our office uniquely skilled at aggravating others.  I will refer to him as Sam.

In order to make sense, some background is probably necessary.  (Feel free to skim past if you just want to know about the crazy bullshit.)  Sam is an attorney here, and is the only one who is difficult to work with. Since my department has theoretically been jettisoned, I have been doing a lot of special projects.  One of these involved reviewing files (from my department as well as others) and flagging/labeling documents to be scanned.  We had a massive production request to meet and I have worked my ass off to get things sorted quickly.  I’ve taken work home when they were filling the office with fumes and put all my other responsibilities on hold.  Despite this, when legal was unable to find things, Sam blamed me, and I had to show they had what they were looking for all along.  He has also repeatedly faulted Hank for (as Sam saw them) flaws in his department’s record keeping. (The company laid off the clerical employee for this department ages ago and Hank certainly didn’t design their filing system.)

There was a new round of I-can’t-find-my-own-ass-YOU-have-to-fix-it-right-fucking-now starting yesterday afternoon.  I was able to quickly find 3 of the 4 items he claimed were never scanned.  They had been.  But he was nice enough and gave them to the secretary to rescan.

Midmorning today, I found the last document as well as a note telling me to come see Sam after “completing” my work on these files.  (It’s quibbling, but I completed my work on them three weeks ago.)  I dug through the refiled documents and located the last one, delivered it, and had an astonishingly painless conversation with Sam.

Unfortunately, Hank’s conversation with Sam was far from painless.  Sam went off on another crazy rant about how the filing failures were all Hank’s fault and he would burn in hell for it.

Yes, to this crazy bastard, having faults in your departmental filing system is worthy of eternal damnation.  This was presented as true and serious.

I had no words.

Now that I’ve had a little while to think about it, I have a few.  The first ones that come to mind are “human resources” and “hostile work environment.”

But I also started thinking about what would allow a person to come to the conclusion that God would damn someone for failing to put every page in a file chronologically.  When you belong to a church that is run and structured like a business, it is not outside the realm of possibility that real or perceived business failures would carry religious and moral consequences.

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